Dealing with Strong Emotions – By Osho

When a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in questions, but remain centered.

If hate arises for someone or against someone, or love arises for someone, what do we do? We project it on the person. If you feel hate toward me, you forget yourself completely in your hate; only I become your object. If you feel love toward me, you forget yourself completely; only I become the object. You project your love or hate or whatsoever upon me. You forget completely the inner center of your being; the other becomes the center.

This sutra says when hate arises or love arises, or any mood for or against anyone, do not project it on the person in question. Remember, you are the source of it.

I love you — the ordinary feeling is that you are the source of my love. That is not really so. I am the source, you are just a screen on which I project my love.

You are just a screen; I project my love on you and I say that you are the source of my love. This is not fact, this is fiction. I draw my love energy and project it onto you. In that love energy projected onto you, you become loveable. You may ot be loveable to someone else, you may be absolutely repulsive to someone else.
Why?

If you are the source of love then everyone will feel loving toward you, but you are not the source.

I project love, then you become loveable; someone projects hate, then you become repulsive. And someone else doesn’t project anything, he is indifferent; he may not even have looked at you.

What is happening? We are projecting our own moods upon others. That is why, if you are on your honeymoon, the moon looks beautiful, miraculous, wonderful. it seems that the whole world is different. And on the same night, just for your neighbor, this miraculous night may not be in existence at all. His child has died — then the same moon is just sad, intolerable. But for you it is enchanting, fascinating; it creates passion. Why? Is the moon the source or is the moon just a screen and you are projecting yourself?

This sutra says, when a mood against someone or for someone arises, do not place it on the person in question — or on the object in question. Remain centered.

Remember that you are the source, so do not move to the other, move to the source. When you feel hate, do not go to the object. Go to the point from where the hate is coming. Go not to the person to whom it is going, but to the center from where it is coming.

Move to the center, go within. Use your hate or love or anger or anything as a journey toward your inner center, to the source. Move to the source and remain centered there. Try it! This is a very, very scientific, psychological technique.

Someone has insulted you — anger suddenly erupts, you are feverish. Anger is flowing toward the person who has insulted you. Now you will project this whole anger onto him. He has not done anything. If he has insulted you, what has he done? He has just pricked you, he has helped your anger to arise — but the anger is yours. If he goes to Buddha and insults him, he will not be able to create any anger in him. Or if he goes to Jesus, Jesus will give him the other cheek. Or if he goes to Bodhidharma, he will roar with laughter. So it depends.

The other is not the source, the source is always within you. The other is hitting the source, but if there is no anger within you it cannot come out. If you hit a buddha, only compassion will come out because only compassion is there. Anger will not come out because anger is not there.

If you throw a bucket into a dry well, nothing comes out. In a water-filled well, you throw a bucket and water comes out, but the water is from the well. The bucket only helps to bring it out. So one who is insulting you is just throwing a bucket in you, and then the bucket will come out filled with the anger, hate, or fire that was within you.

You are the source, remember.

For this technique, remember that you are the source of everything that you go on projecting onto others. And whenever there is a mood against or for, immediately move within and go to the source from where this hate is coming.

Remain centered there; do not move to the object. Someone has given you a chance to be aware of your own anger — thank him immediately and forget him. Close your eyes, move within, and now look at the source from where this love or anger is coming. From where?

Go within, move within. You will find the source there because the anger is coming from your source. Hate or love or anything is coming from your source.
And it is easy to go to the source at the moment you are angry or in love or in hate, because then you are hot. It is easy to move in then. The wire is hot and you can take it in, you can move inward with that hotness. And when you reach a cool point within, you will suddenly realize a different dimension, a different world opening before you.

Use anger, use hate, use love to go within. We use it always to move to the other, and we feel very much frustrated if no one is there to project upon. Then we go on projecting even on inanimate objects. I have seen persons being angry at their shoes, throwing them in anger. What are they doing? I have seen angry persons
pushing a door in anger, throwing their anger on the door, abusing the door, using dirty language against the door. What are they doing?

I will end with one Zen insight about this. One of the greatest of Zen masters, Lin Chi, used to say, “While I was young I was very fascinated by boating. I had one small boat, and I would go on the lake alone. For hours together I would remain there.” Once it happened that with closed eyes I was in my boat meditating on the beautiful night. One empty boat came floating downstream and struck my boat. My eyes were closed, so I thought, ‘Someone is here with his boat, and he has struck my boat.’ Anger arose. I opened my eyes and I was just going to say something to that man in anger, then I realized that the boat was empty. Then there was no way to move. To whom could I express the anger? The boat was empty. It was just floating downstream, and it had come and struck my boat. So there was nothing to do. There was no possibility to project the anger on
an empty boat.”

So Lin Chi said, “I closed my eyes. The anger was there, but finding no way out, I closed my eyes and just floated backward with the anger. And that empty boat became my realization. I came to a point within myself in that silent night. That empty boat was my master. And now if someone comes and insults me, I laugh and I say, ‘This boat is also empty.’ I close my eyes and I go within.”

Use this technique. It may work miracles for you.

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  • Tim

    Thank you for this Osho,

    It made a profound difference in my outlook on things and I’m feeling immediate positive effects.

  • http://amitbhatia.in Amit Bhatia

    Thanks for reading this article Tim. Hopefully, the technique mentioned here is producing positive results in your life.

  • http://www.brasil.gov.br Felipe

    Perfect! Life saving stuff! Thanks!

  • http://www.facebook.com/RediatB Rediat

    I love it, it really helped me to have a different perspective in my life and have more peace with the people around me.

    I had a great tendency to blame others for my feelings and situations. Always in a row with my supervisors, blaming the company I work for and the country am living and family for all miserable feelings I have.

    I have read this article a month ago and am still reading it again and again, when ever something starts to build up in me to say something offensive to others, i remember this article and become very cool right away by turning my focus to the inside.

    Thank you for posting this article and i am really benefited from it.

    Thank you, thank you ..

  • http://originsmile.wordpress.com Dr.Dinesh kapur

    Emotions work in more stronger way, and body follows according to that.
    smile, Enjoy!

  • manoj sure

    Nothing more positive things to say about this article n osho’s such numerous insights . . cannot leave a comment on it but i surely would express my gratitude to osho n amit

  • http://amitbhatia.in Amit Bhatia

    @Dr. Dinesh: That’s very true. Vipassana teaches the subtle art of watching emotional reactions on body as they are. The more you watch the equanimously, more calmer emotions become.

    @Manoj: Thanks for your gratitude.

  • Arshad Haroon

    Truth is something which comes out of many conflicts unscathed and untouched. How ever the ideas expressed in the article is not close to truth as many, in fact most of the people express anger towards others. Remaining Centered may imply truth only if a persons comes untouched out of many insults hurled/sorrows towards him/her. But no body in this world since time immemorial has demonstrated remaining centered. Situations moulds a man and man moulds the situation. Conflict is the truth of this world and this is the only thing which has come untouched

    • http://amitbhatia.in Amit Bhatia

      Your observation is very true. Every person passes through the struggles to deal with the current situation. So, controlling anger at times becomes challenging. However, we should continuously remind ourselves that being in the struggle is not a permanent state of mind. It is just one of the states of mind, which may do more harm to us and those around us. Only a peaceful mind, can bring peace within and to others as well. While, applying this technique (as mentioned by osho) peace of mind comes naturally because you no longer are attached to the object of anger and able to view it in a detached mode.

  • Worldgagandeep

    what can be done in love then  .. isn’t it unexpressed love  …